Thursday, March 27, 2014

Chivalry is More Dead than the Squirrel I Just Ran Over

Can you count on one hand the number of times your significant other has opened a car door for you? Have you been carrying multiple bags and a door slams shut on you as you race to get through it while the gentleman who went through it ahead of you continues to move along? Do you ask your man to do you a favor and he fails due to your "inability to speak clearly" or because you "didn't remind him or text?" F this. F ALL of this. Chivalry is dead, my friends. And it shouldn't be.

For those of you who are stupid, chivalry is "an honorable and polite way of behaving especially toward women." This of course comes from a medieval system of values (such as loyalty and honor) that knights were expected to follow. No one can be to sure where it fell off, but obviously times have changed. And maybe some of you are feminists and want to do everything for yourself, but I am not. I am lazy, and if men can make my day a little easier, great.

Yesterday, I was walking back into my office following lunch. A gentleman was enjoying a drag near the entrance and made his way over to the door in between hits when I walked up. He opened the door and held it for me. This wasn't even because of convenience. He went out of his way. CHIVALRY. The guy I saw today at lunch smoking outside the door struggled to even make eye contact. And that's what the norm is. No contact.

Another major issue that arises tends to be more of a problem when men and women are courting each other. This has never been something I have pushed too hard, but I hear about it far too often. Men, PAY FOR DINNER. Sometimes I act quickly and pay for dates in advance, i.e. tickets to sporting events. The first date with my future spouse was something I arranged and paid for. It was only $120, but don't worry he bought me a coney dog after the game (sense the tone). He also bought me a diamond ring so I consider us even. But my point is that sometimes chivalry isn't given a chance, and alas, it is dead because the woman never allowed it to grow. I take responsibility for this. But let's face facts; going dutch is a joke.

So part of me hates that I expect men to behave like this. I am a strong woman, who generally intimidates men and one day, hopes to boss men around. And lately we have heard much of women "leaning in" and being powerful in the workplace as well as society. But hey, ladies, WE SHOULD GET SOME SPECIAL TREATMENT! We have babies for these guys. We are sometimes (monthly) dealing with painful cramping and crabbiness. Is it so bad that I need a guy to go get me a Blizzard every once in a while?? Now I will say that a certain man I know was asked to pick up feminine hygiene products recently and while at first he refused (and lied his way out of it), he finally came around and was very willing. CHIVALRY. However, the task was called off to save his pride. We can be chivalrous too, boys! But it was a test and he passed.

Now to my friends in same-sex relationships. This means NOTHING. There are still the same opportunities for chivalry. I suspect you lady-loving ladies come into contact with men on a daily basis. They can still hold doors for you! And men, be chivalrous with each other! If it results in fighting over door holding responsibilities, SO BE IT! Would you rather be left in the dust while your significant keeps worrying about himself?! Sometimes going dutch becomes the habit, but at least take turns treating each other. Splitting a bill is boring.

So go ahead and treat your lady tonight. And hold the door for someone. And don't for one second think I don't hold the door for everyone. I usually hold the door too early and then people think they have to run and then I end up feeling shitty about being polite. It's a vicious cycle.

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