Friday, February 7, 2014

Starbucks is a Powerful Beast

It will come as no surprise to you that I am a coffee addict. I love it and I have been drinking it for as long as I can remember. Remember when you always heard the BS line that coffee stunts your growth? Well I am here to tell you that I started drinking coffee at a prepubescent age and I have shot up to 5'10". My mother used to give me coffee at church, well that's a lie, I would take her cup and drink it all. It might not have been the best thing to let me drink at a young age, but I have always loved it, bottom line.

As you can imagine, I drink coffee on a daily basis. I am an active Starbucks Gold Card holder, and on the days I don't stop at Starbucks, I find coffee a number of ways, and the list of ways is mighty. I might brew a pot at home. I might use the Keurig at home. I might bring my K-cup to the office and use the Keurig in the conference room. I might drink the horrible coffee that is brewed in our break room. I might stop at any number of stores that brew coffee and buy a cup, but if I am doing that I might as well be at Starbucks. But every day, I have coffee. It is my most favorite thing.

Starbucks is more or less the brand I am most loyal to. I spend more money on Starbucks than gasoline (to be fair I have a small car with excellent MPGs and work 2 miles from my home). The app I open on my phone almost as much as Facebook is the Starbucks app. When people buy me presents they purchase me Starbucks gift cards. This year my birthday collection was a whopping $120 and Christmas earned me about $50. I have a Starbucks location for every single move I make. For example, I have a "on the way to work" Starbucks. I have a "my on the way to work Starbucks is closed for some asinine reason so this is my backup" Starbucks, which I will explain momentarily. I have a "going to visit my parents" Starbucks, a "getting my hair done" Starbucks, a "this Starbucks is on the way to everything" Starbucks, and my personal favorite, "I f-ing hate this Starbucks and everyone that works here but you are right here and I was within walking distance and my app sent me a notification" Starbucks. It's tough to be loyal when you really hate the staff at a Starbucks, but we all have to make sacrifices once in a while.

This morning, I decided to stop at my "on the way to work" Starbucks. This is my second go at this version of Starbucks, having just moved to this community about 4 months ago. I used to go to the BEST "on the way to work" Starbucks. It had everything you wanted in a staff; just splendid baristas. However, parking was a struggle and there was no drive thru. There were however always people begging outside, which has become somewhat of a plus. It's hysterical what certain people will beg for... I have on more than one occasion been asked for a cinnamon roll and hot chocolate... it's better than giving cash. But I am no longer living over there, and the new Starbucks is less exciting. The drive thru lane on the other hand is always at least 10 cars deep and drives me completely insane. Not today though. Today, THEY WERE CLOSED.

What the hell?! This is unprecidented. Luckily, I didn't have to even enter the parking lot to figure out why. I still don't technically know WHY, but I saw a man go up to the door and read a sign, and go back to his car. And I noticed there wasn't a soul in the drive thru, which was totally fishy. Well this screws up everything. So about 4 Michigan lefts later, I was at "my on the way to work Starbucks is closed for some asinine reason so this is my backup" Starbucks. It's only 1 mile away. Closer to work actually. This is the WORST Starbucks in a 50-mile radius (and for the record, there are over 45 locations within 15 miles of here. Yes, for real). There is no parking, there is no easy way in or out, and there is no drive thru. And today, it was everyone's backup. I made it in and out and hated every minute, but I got my fix.

There is only one point to this post. It is crazy what I would do, and what other people would do, for Starbucks. I am late for Starbucks. I drive out of my way for Starbucks. I spend my paycheck for Starbucks. And DO NOT jump in here and say there are so many other options and they're cheaper. I have done the research. All the other places have a far inferior product, and most straight coffee is MORE expensive).  I have even dressed up like Starbucks. This is my favorite brand and it is very hard for Starbucks to upset me. They have been loyal to me, too. We are in a beautiful relationship and I love them. I just wanted to let the world know.

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