Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Blogging: It's Not for Everyone

It has recently come to my attention that everyone thinks they deserve a blog. Myself included. But here is the thing: people like reading what I write. I am funny, honest, blunt, etc. It is with these things in mind that I write this new post, and kick off 2016. Just because you have a computer and typing savvy does not mean we give a shit about what you have to say. Or do. Or think. OR HOW YOU LOOK.

I feel like I fill a niche of blog - the blog about nonsense that everyone can relate to because it's real talk. I am not fake. I didn't hire a photographer to follow me around so you can see what I was wearing last night. That's not real. My audience is more or less the general masses, and I really do this so I can practice my writing and one day be better than you and get a book deal. And you know what my book will be about? Nonsense that everyone can relate to. It sells itself!

Let's take a closer look at some bloggers we approve of, and better yet, the ones we kind of basically hate ------

LOVE. The ACTUAL Make Up Artist.
I am biased because my best friend is a makeup artist and has a video blog with my hair stylist, who is also a friend. But seriously. Their blog is worth the time because they are licensed to be doing your make up. They are professionals, who want to help the Average Jane look amazing. They have a right to be telling you what to do because people PAY THEM MONEY. It's legit.



HATE. The Fashion Blogger.
In most cases, fashion bloggers are just women who like clothes. They didn't get a degree in fashion. They don't work in fashion. Sometimes they are ex-models who are too old too model. If you have NO background and just think you look good, think again. You are just trying to show us pictures of yourself and we don't actually care. In fact, people like me think they could talk about fashion better than you (even though I don't spend enough on clothes). I just don't have time for that. I HAVE A FUCKING JOB. I also don't look good every day. I am fat today. Mostly pregnant.

LOVE. Someone With REAL Fitness Knowledge.
My good friend owns a pilates studio. She also has certifications to do what she does. She trains instructors across the country. She shares video content to make sure people are doing their exercises the right way. This is approved. No bullshit. No fancy pics of her abs. But they're there! Not everything is about an obnoxious pic. There are honestly a lot of great fitness blogs out there. My point is that you don't have to read crap from someone who doesn't actually know anything.

HATE. The Wannabe Workout Guru.
This.

LOVE. Anyone With a Dog.
Pretty much this guy. 



HATE. "Mommies."
GET. THE. F. OVER. YOURSELF. Mommy blogs are the worst and I hate listening to moms. If I listened to moms, maybe I would have listened to mine and not dropped of college (the first time).

DOUBLE HATE. Health Foodies.
Remember when everyone posted Food Babe's shit all the time? And then she said that Starbucks pumped their Pumpkin Spice Latte full of poison? And then someone was like "ummm, she lies." Well it's because she was a nobody with no scientific references or background and she sucked.

So if you want to blog, I urge you to do so. Seriously. Just make sure that people care about what you have to say, will actually read what you write, and that you have a place in a blogosphere that is over-saturated with people just like you, trying to be noticed. Or maybe find another hobby. Or just keep to yourself.

And here I am being fashionable. See, I could do it.